Why did I become an anaesthesiologist?

I would be lying to myself if I say, I wake up every day thinking "Thank God I am an anaesthesiologist". It does not mean that I hate my job. It is a little more complicated than that.
I have chosen to be an anaesthesiologist since I wasn't being offered anything better. I was desperate to get a specialty degree, this one came by and I was told that it isn't all that bad, there are many possible new avenues like critical care, pain management, ER etc, pays reasonably well, being an end-specialty( at least that's what I was made to believe ! ) there are no hassles of pursuing super-specializations like in surgery or internal medicine, you can finish your work and go home in peace to your family .. so on so forth. So, I sort of 'settled' for the specialty. I am sure quite a few of us out there are in the specialty for similar reasons.

After entering Anaesthesia I realised that there is this eternal, constant and totally unnecessary "cold war" between us and surgeons to make them respect anaesthesiologists, and there is this never ending dejection that no body recognises our efforts (including patients..) and that unfortunately most of the procedures that we do become just "routine" after some time. Anaesthesia is unique amongst all clinical specialties for being the only specialty where the practitioners feel an endless need to be recognized by their peers. In all others, either they don't give a damn or it happens naturally.
So, for me there was nothing appetizing about anaesthesia, rather, like you do for intoxicating beverages, I had to develop a taste for it. Once I did that, I realized it wasn't that bad after all.

I learnt to love the joys of anaesthesia. Making " the business of pain relief" an art form in itself, with patient as a canvass and your anaesthetic drugs and equipments as paints and brushes! And I must say, after I complete a case and a see a patient wake up completely painless and comfortable innocently asking "Doc, is the surgery really over?" the joy and gratification I get is no less than the one while watching a completed, magnificent painting.
Once I started to consider surgeon as a colleague in the OR with whom I have to spend considerable amount of time, who is not an idiot, who given the right circumstances behaves like a normal man, "Cold War" was no more than a petty nuisance.To my credit, I can safely say that I cannot recollect any instance of not being treated as a worthy co-worker inside the OR, though I must admit I have had my share of experiences with stupid, snobbish and dumb surgical colleagues.
I still ( after almost 8 years in specailty) love to put an IV line, to deftly maneuver the needle- cannula assembly into an ever so small a vein, still get excited when I can feel that I am near the Ligamentum flavum and will enter epidural space any moment, and even now I would be thrilled while intubating if had an hint from I pre anaesthetic examination that it could be difficult airway. So, I have realised procedures never really become "routine".
As for lack of acknowledgement from the patients, I found that it is extremely gratifying to participate in the care of the patient who is at one of the most stressful time of his/her life. I made it more bearable for them. So. I began wondering, does it really matter if somebody fail to understand this?

When coded for an emergency, to see that unmistakable sign of relief on faces of all those who have hurried there before as soon as I enter, and when I see them naturally accepting my leadership in the resuscitation process recognizing my superior ability in managing critical situations like that..I feel like God !

"Anaesthesiology", for me is not a passion, but an interesting profession. It gives me an opportunity to witness an exciting human drama with innumerable critical moments, near death situations, unmeasurable delights of vanquishing the eternal foe of mankind called pain.. that plays everyday exclusively for me.

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My Story..

I wrote this little poem while i was preparing for my PG entrance test.. Those days were one of the most horrible days of my life and i would never wish them on even my worst of enemies. I would like to sing this to all of you ... Ha

I am this lazy guy

Couch potato you can call me,

So I love this cable guy

Hey! Don't you get ideas about me !

If you don't know yet

You'll be pretty surprised i bet,

 That I'm this silly medical graduate

Afraid to call myself a Doctor,

Who's got to study day and sometimes even night

For this PG test to be a top scorer.

But, as I said I am lazy

With television giving me company,

It's crazy to be taking it all so easy

My head needs some scrutiny.

I wasn't always like this

Till something went amiss.

What it is I am still wondering 

Unable to spot the red herring.

Mediocrity, I used to hate,

Like it or not, it is about to be my fate.

I need somebody to show me the light

To infuse life back into me to make me alright.

So, I am waiting and waiting 

But haven't found the saviour yet..

Meanwhile it's friday

What's on Starmovies tonight !!